Carnival Dream

January 11 , 2009

Dampness hung in the air like freshly washed linen... The somnolent dusk ,awash with scent of the cool night wind , made he late afternoon suitable for sleeping .

As the day unwound , slowly slithering into nightfall , the usual Sunday activities at home went into a fast pace and slowly slumbered into silence ...

In the solitude of my room , darkness embraced me and as the cool breeze of the night made through it's way on my open over sized window and playing with the striped-pink curtains made goose bumps on my skin . I sat down in my bed to seek for comfort and warmth and waited until my eyes got used to the darkness around me .

I felt too tired to even comb my hair and do my nightly weekend regimen . After changing into my over sized shirt I rubbed aromatic oil on my feet to soothe it's numbness . Propped my pillows and grabbed covers ... lay down comfortably ... i still want to turn on my player and listen some music... Kenny G this time ...Havana .. five minutes and I'll turn it on .... but the five minutes was forgotten . I fell into Dimension Z once again ... this is the part where I'm half awake and half asleep. I can see darkness but in total silence as if everything in the world gone mute ... slowly colors came like shooting stars ... forming images ...scenes ... forming into a dreamlike tapestry ... and then it made sense ... a carnival !

I saw two ticket booths , the one with candy colored paint and the other one is painted in bold green , purple and red . The candy colored booth sells tickets for the Carousel so I bought my ticket there and snubbed the other booth which sells tickets for the Roller Coaster ride .

The man dressed in clowns open the gate and let me in and ride into a pretty pony ...
he even gave me a wand and a tiara so I felt like a princess riding in my magical horse . Going round and round the pretty lit carousel with sweet melody floating in the air ...

Time is up and it's time for me to step down and leave the magical feeling ... I wander around the carnival sight seeing ... I can hear screams of adventure and laughter in the nearby Roller Coaster and it looks very frightening !!! Then I heard that someone is calling me .... “ Maria ! “
so I gazed around and look where the voice came from .

And then my eyes rested on that very beautiful creature with kind eyes and deep voice... His hair has been blown by the wind ... soft and silken ... He reached out his hand and said
“ come ride with me “ and pointed to the Roller Coaster . I don't know this stranger yet his hands felt to familiar ... I'm getting drowsy with his scent ... And he's holding my hand and pulling me to the Roller coaster but i felt so scared to ride in there .... And he said in a sweetest voice ...

“ come here sweetie ... don't be scared I am here ... “

The tears went roll down my face suddenly ... I closed my eyes ... and then I was awake by my own sobs ... hot tears running down my cheeks ... and my chest felt so tight with pain ... I got up and drink a glass of water to calm me down ... sat motionless for some moments ... and wonderin' what the dream meant ...
I don't know how minutes have passed since I sat there ... the curtains movement caught my hair and awoke me from that uncertain enigma .

I can't sleep back so I decided to write a draft for this blog ...

A Happy Birthday Experience !!!

A GREAT DAY !!!

January 10 , 2009

It was my 27th birthday and I had a wonderful experience with my BisdakCentral family !

We visited Missionaries of Charity in Barangay Pasil , Cebu City and greeted by the smiles of the children .
Some we're shy with their heads down and not talking with anyone who approaches them .
But then as the day went on and the food were served everybody then got the energy to participate with
the games and gift giving !!!


Let me share the moments captured by Byte during the day .

The night before . January 9, 2009 8pm meeting @ McDonads IT park .
With ( Left ) Cheche , Sir Leyland , Byte , Toton and Baby Lani .




January 10 , 2009
7 am
Robinson's Main entrance
Our meeting place !
( From left to right )
Cubz , Wiggy (Godess ),Malyn (Maleen), Leylander ,Heiress(me), Vinzoy , Che-che,
Joy and Dusty .


The preparation @ Ice's house .





On the site !


















Going back to Ice's house for Lunch !







Such a birthday experience ! I felt like I was having children's party ! heheh !

Of course I would like to thank all the member's who participated !

Byte , Joy , Cheche , Arnie , Baby Lani , Baby Nikki, Ice and family ( for the accomodations and preparations )
W@liboy , Firefoz, Dusty , Arnel , Vinzoy , Myand , Toton , Jennylicious .

To my ever officemates backup rangers !
Malyn , Wiggy , Cubs , Nice and Albert .

To the sponsors from abroad !
Sir Max, Gokou , Lovelysummer1982 , Clai2x , Fafa Jofox

To the staff and sisters of Missionary of Charity who accomodated us !

Thank you so so much !
I had a great birthday !

For more pictures please check out on bisdakcentral.com

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To die ...

January 5, 2009
8 pm

A woman was stabbed with ice pick . She was rubbed in the dark alley on her way home .
Her lung was hit and she is in a critical condition .


This shocked me ... I found out the news last night when I passed by our " chikadora " neighbors .
One of them asked me if I still pass through Norkis ( a motorcycle shop in Basak , Lapu-Lapu City ) on my way home .
I said yes ... and then they told me that I should not pass on the alley there when it starts to get dark .
Then they told me about the woman who was rubbed and stabbed with ice pick because she fought back and did not gave her bag .

I felt a chill down my spine ....
I was about to pass that dark alley on that specific 8 pm if not for some delays ...

It reminds me of what had happened last year .

It was a cold December dawn ... 4:15 am .
I usually go on that way to head for work ...
But then something came to my mind and I took the other way on the left .
When I got home at 3 om that same day I found out that a girl was shot in the head with attempted rape in that very spot where I always go through on my way to work, but then I skipped that morning .

The chill I felt was the very same chill I felt last night ...

If I happened to pass there on that early morning I might end up in the bushes as well or I don't know what will happen . I might have witnessed a crime and I might get killed for that too .

And then last January 5 ... it could have been me ? Who knows....

I have escaped crime for a couple times already .... might have escaped death ...

I am thankful that I have trusted my instinct .

No I am not afraid of Death ... I'm not afraid to die .
But not in that grouse way ... not in the hands of undeserving people.

I want to die in fashion like you see in the soap in the television , where you get to say your last sentence or phrase to that someone you really love and take your last breath as you do your last kiss and still when you're already breathless you still look like sleeping beauty . ( lol )

Yes ... I want to die in the arms of an angel ... so he would carry me above the clouds ...
Before he dropped me to hell with it's cascading balls of fire which burns your soul or to heaven to be with all the people you love and care the most ....

But we do not know for certain that hell or heaven exists ... nobody has ever been there and get back to life and bring solid proof with him .

But yes I do believe in angels ....
Might be a white angel or the Angel of Death .
Reminds me of Joe ( Brad Pitt of Meet Joe Black ) will the Angel of Death will look like him ?

I don't want to grow very old and wrinkled .
If possible I don't ant to die with pain ...
I have dealt pain all my life and I insist not have pain in death .


I envy those people who died while achieving orgasms ...
such a style to die don't you think ? ( hahaha ! )
Like how would it feel catching your breath for life and catching your breath
to savor the pleasure and ecstasy
as you reach your climax and then reach your death ....

Sounds crazy right ? But Life is full of “ What IF's “ ...



Carpe Diem !

Cold and shevirin' ....

I'm fucking freezing here !
The damn air conditioner really sucks the warmth out of me....
This night is the most coldest night ever !

Ohhh damn I wish I can lit this carpeted floor and " whalllah! " instant fireplace !
ahahhah !
The cold makes me nuts and made my nipples hard ....
Oucccchhh ! my lips are cracked no matter how many times I've put on lip balm ...
Ohhhhh... rescue me !

No I am not MAD .... simply shiverin' !
And I still have six hours more to suffer in this freezing inferno !

Reminds me to blog my thoughts out !
And reminds me that I haven't blabber about the Holiday season when most everyone does .

Well Christmas and New Year wa spent here in the office ...
I missed the noisy firecrackers !
And as usual no love beside me..... Not a blue Christmas indeed but kinda colorful...
With earth tones and pearl schemes ....

I've meet a lot of new friends as well !
And missed a lot of old friends ....
I missed my mom , kids .... my lola ... my papa greeted me ...

I missed my best friends Jiji and Marj as well !
And also I missed him so much ....

I missed warm Christmas....
It's been windy for the past two days here ....

I hate it when my feet are cold...
and my nose goes numb ...
and my hair goes unkempt ...
and me complaining ...
and my heart aches for longing for him ....

Fuck the air con off !!!