A Happy Birthday Experience !!!

A GREAT DAY !!!

January 10 , 2009

It was my 27th birthday and I had a wonderful experience with my BisdakCentral family !

We visited Missionaries of Charity in Barangay Pasil , Cebu City and greeted by the smiles of the children .
Some we're shy with their heads down and not talking with anyone who approaches them .
But then as the day went on and the food were served everybody then got the energy to participate with
the games and gift giving !!!


Let me share the moments captured by Byte during the day .

The night before . January 9, 2009 8pm meeting @ McDonads IT park .
With ( Left ) Cheche , Sir Leyland , Byte , Toton and Baby Lani .




January 10 , 2009
7 am
Robinson's Main entrance
Our meeting place !
( From left to right )
Cubz , Wiggy (Godess ),Malyn (Maleen), Leylander ,Heiress(me), Vinzoy , Che-che,
Joy and Dusty .


The preparation @ Ice's house .





On the site !


















Going back to Ice's house for Lunch !







Such a birthday experience ! I felt like I was having children's party ! heheh !

Of course I would like to thank all the member's who participated !

Byte , Joy , Cheche , Arnie , Baby Lani , Baby Nikki, Ice and family ( for the accomodations and preparations )
W@liboy , Firefoz, Dusty , Arnel , Vinzoy , Myand , Toton , Jennylicious .

To my ever officemates backup rangers !
Malyn , Wiggy , Cubs , Nice and Albert .

To the sponsors from abroad !
Sir Max, Gokou , Lovelysummer1982 , Clai2x , Fafa Jofox

To the staff and sisters of Missionary of Charity who accomodated us !

Thank you so so much !
I had a great birthday !

For more pictures please check out on bisdakcentral.com

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To die ...

January 5, 2009
8 pm

A woman was stabbed with ice pick . She was rubbed in the dark alley on her way home .
Her lung was hit and she is in a critical condition .


This shocked me ... I found out the news last night when I passed by our " chikadora " neighbors .
One of them asked me if I still pass through Norkis ( a motorcycle shop in Basak , Lapu-Lapu City ) on my way home .
I said yes ... and then they told me that I should not pass on the alley there when it starts to get dark .
Then they told me about the woman who was rubbed and stabbed with ice pick because she fought back and did not gave her bag .

I felt a chill down my spine ....
I was about to pass that dark alley on that specific 8 pm if not for some delays ...

It reminds me of what had happened last year .

It was a cold December dawn ... 4:15 am .
I usually go on that way to head for work ...
But then something came to my mind and I took the other way on the left .
When I got home at 3 om that same day I found out that a girl was shot in the head with attempted rape in that very spot where I always go through on my way to work, but then I skipped that morning .

The chill I felt was the very same chill I felt last night ...

If I happened to pass there on that early morning I might end up in the bushes as well or I don't know what will happen . I might have witnessed a crime and I might get killed for that too .

And then last January 5 ... it could have been me ? Who knows....

I have escaped crime for a couple times already .... might have escaped death ...

I am thankful that I have trusted my instinct .

No I am not afraid of Death ... I'm not afraid to die .
But not in that grouse way ... not in the hands of undeserving people.

I want to die in fashion like you see in the soap in the television , where you get to say your last sentence or phrase to that someone you really love and take your last breath as you do your last kiss and still when you're already breathless you still look like sleeping beauty . ( lol )

Yes ... I want to die in the arms of an angel ... so he would carry me above the clouds ...
Before he dropped me to hell with it's cascading balls of fire which burns your soul or to heaven to be with all the people you love and care the most ....

But we do not know for certain that hell or heaven exists ... nobody has ever been there and get back to life and bring solid proof with him .

But yes I do believe in angels ....
Might be a white angel or the Angel of Death .
Reminds me of Joe ( Brad Pitt of Meet Joe Black ) will the Angel of Death will look like him ?

I don't want to grow very old and wrinkled .
If possible I don't ant to die with pain ...
I have dealt pain all my life and I insist not have pain in death .


I envy those people who died while achieving orgasms ...
such a style to die don't you think ? ( hahaha ! )
Like how would it feel catching your breath for life and catching your breath
to savor the pleasure and ecstasy
as you reach your climax and then reach your death ....

Sounds crazy right ? But Life is full of “ What IF's “ ...



Carpe Diem !

Cold and shevirin' ....

I'm fucking freezing here !
The damn air conditioner really sucks the warmth out of me....
This night is the most coldest night ever !

Ohhh damn I wish I can lit this carpeted floor and " whalllah! " instant fireplace !
ahahhah !
The cold makes me nuts and made my nipples hard ....
Oucccchhh ! my lips are cracked no matter how many times I've put on lip balm ...
Ohhhhh... rescue me !

No I am not MAD .... simply shiverin' !
And I still have six hours more to suffer in this freezing inferno !

Reminds me to blog my thoughts out !
And reminds me that I haven't blabber about the Holiday season when most everyone does .

Well Christmas and New Year wa spent here in the office ...
I missed the noisy firecrackers !
And as usual no love beside me..... Not a blue Christmas indeed but kinda colorful...
With earth tones and pearl schemes ....

I've meet a lot of new friends as well !
And missed a lot of old friends ....
I missed my mom , kids .... my lola ... my papa greeted me ...

I missed my best friends Jiji and Marj as well !
And also I missed him so much ....

I missed warm Christmas....
It's been windy for the past two days here ....

I hate it when my feet are cold...
and my nose goes numb ...
and my hair goes unkempt ...
and me complaining ...
and my heart aches for longing for him ....

Fuck the air con off !!!

Top 10 Books

Top 10 books that I ohhh! so want to own ! and display them along with my collection of
"hard-bound " covered books .



The Zahir: A Novel of Love, Longing and Obsession (2005)
Paolo Coelho



The Witch of Portobello (2007)
Paolo Coelho



The Jewel of Medina
Sherry Jones ( 2008 )



Brida ( 1990 )
Paolo Coelho


Eleven Minutes (2003)
Paolo Coelho


By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (1996)
Paolo Coelho


Madame Butterfly (1898)
John Luther Long


Memoires of a Geisha ( 1997 )
Arthur Golden


Before I die ( 2007 )
Jenny Downham


The Winner Stands Alone (2009) ( soon to be publish in hardbound )
Paolo Coelho

The Night It Was ....

Montebello Hotel
December 14 , 2008
5:00 pm




























And then back to base for work after the chaos !

Triste é viver na solidão ...

I got home at past 12 midnight and I am soaking wet .
Hmmmnn.... I forgot the damn umbrella in my mom's office last Tuesday .
Good for me.
I was hoping to get sick ... lolz such a bad wish right ? Well that's me.

So I stripped off my wet clothes change into Pajama's since it's so damn cold .
The house seemed so quite ...
I turned on my CD player and played my Bossa Collection ...

“ Triste é viver na solidão
Na dor cruel de uma paixão
Triste é saber que ninguém
pode viver de ilusão
Que nunca vai ser, nunca vai dar
O sonhador tem que acordar
Tua beleza é um avião,
demais prum pobre coracão
Que pára pra te ver passar
Só pra me maltratar
Triste é viver na solidão “

Which means :

Sad to live in solitude
On pain of a brutal passion
Sad to know that nobody
can live in illusion
That never will be, will never give
The dreamer has to agree
Your beauty is an airplane,
Prum too poor heart
What stops you see you go
Just tell me mistreat
Sad to live in solitude .

The song is a heart's tragedy ... just like me ...

I resist to weep even my tears are almost blinding my vision ....
So I dried my hair and comb until it gone soft to my touch ...
So I lay there in the middle of the darkness with the rain angrily pouring outside...
I hugged my teddy ... with it's dark shining eyes staring straight back at me .
I can sense that he is mocking me ...
I know what the teddy bear wants to tell me ...
That the person who gave him to me thinks that all I deserve is a cuddly teddy bear .
But then I know that teddy also felt so lonely ...
his owner gave him away and left him with some pathetic stranger ...
So we teddy and I ended up in each others arms seeking for sleep .

Then my phone rang and a friend called... a new friend ...

It was so kind of him to cal me and saved me from my deep solitude ...
My tragic solitude of of a brutal passion , of illusion and sadness ...

I'm sorry if I felt this way sometimes ...
Would it be nice to belong into someone's arms ?
Who will cuddle you through the night and will give you butterfly kisses when morning comes ...

But then I'm happy I'm alive .
Though at times hurting ... I'm happy that I am capable of hurting ...
To know that someday I am capable of loving the person who deserves to be loved ...

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

I loved this poem very much it was narrated for the song
The first time I loved forever by Lisa Angelle

by E. E. Cummings

somewhere i have never traveled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclosed me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

babblings ...

The greatest mystery is why there is something instead of nothing
And the something is this thing we called life .
I am entirely baffled by you and me .
We we're both there near the beginning .
The atoms in our bodies were made then
Yet there sum now ,
In a living thing that is greater than the whole -
Perhaps the universe is the only way it can be for us to exist .