Mr. Devastated

August 27 , 2008
10: 58 pm.



It's August again... it has been a while since I've posted something on this crazy age.
Well here I am again " Dear blog " always running on you whenever I get hurt ....


And here it goes ....

PART I

I've spent the day analyzing ...
analyzing how to let go of something I never had or to make it more clear ,
" someone that I never had " not mine - heh' clear enough for me .

Yet the fact and the reality that " every beginning has an end "
but why did it have to end when it has not even started yet ?

I am to console myself that at least I get to spend a moment with you ... dramatically speaking it was " A night to remember " .

I remember your eyes...
It was like longing for something I can give but longing for someone I could never be.


'Tis not a game , I am not your toy and vice-versa .
Clearly everything is for pleasure ....
Though I knew the possibilities it might lead us to but I knew better that it has to end somehow.
" Nothing lasts forver " for we are not diamonds polished by De Beers .

( Back to mellow DRAMA )

And so I treasured each moment spent with you .... not to miss a thing .
I want to see how you close your eyes innocently ..
how you snored like . ( sounds cute to me ) .
And how your part opened lips looked so tempting that I want to plunge my tongue inside and taste you once again .

I love to hear your breathing , the rise and low of your chest.. most of all your moans when you....
oooopppsss !!! censored ! :P .

Then suddenly you said " ... it has to end " and " we can continue seeing each other but we need to be discreet though ... " .
It felt like I was a switch you turned me ON , you turned me OFF and " ON " again
as you pleased .

For Pete's sake ! I was a willing victim an accessory of the crime .
Just don't pull the plug off and totally cut off electricity for the life of me !!!

" I am so devastated ... " these are not my words . I should have not cared how and why but generally it stung my heart . And when you said that you ant her back very badly , it was like rubbing salt to my wound .


I can't look at you . I am afraid to see the pain in your eyes for it hurts me most .

Though I don't want to cry , not a tear for you ! I will die if I cry for you ! ( joke!!! )


Seriously i want you to be happy , no matter who makes or brings you happiness . I want to see your
eyes dance again .
Go win her back ! apologize and tell her you regret the moment you spent with me .
Damn it if I get hurt with that !

Am I hurt through all of these ?
It doesn't matter anyway . Will it matter to you ?
What matters most ..... ( by Kenny Rankin right ? ) .

YES .
I am hurting . Damn it .
And damn it again ,I miss you .