A night to remember ...

He reached over and took her hand as she gave a deep , anguished sob.
He pulled her into his lap, holding her close as she trembled , and waited until her body had stopped
shaking and she was still against him. Gently he placed his fingers beneath her chin and lifted her face. Tenderly he kissed her brow , the corners of her eyes , which were wet with tears , and the corners of her mouth , which trembled beneath his touch .
" Maria... " he whispered. His mouth covered hers , gently lingering , until her lips opened to accept him.
He kissed her long and yet again , until she moaned softly against his mouth . His hand slipped the ties of her bodice and lifted it apart to gently caress her , his fingers moving beneath beneath to find and tease her nipples with tenderness that spun her mind with wonder . she ran her tongue over her lips as her teeth ached at his gentle playing . Surely this was not sinful , she reasoned as she arched her back to his steady attention . He was only touching her, and it was only a breast , and his fingers --- oh , sweet Lord ,
it felt so good . Surely not a sin .

She thought she could not stand more , The growing , bittersweet aching from the deepest core of her had spread it's drawstring tension over her body . He shifted in the chair , drawing her to him as he bent over ,
and as his lips touched her replacing his fingers to draw light circles about the nipples , flicking the tender , sensitive tips and she cried out softly .

She tried to push him away but he drew a breast to his mouth and suckled , causing her to groan and press against him and she knew she was lost . She cared about nothing but him and what she now knew he would giver her .

His hand slipped between her thighs , separating them to his search . Gently he played . Touching lightly
in response to her body , which arched to his touch as she began to draw in quick , gasping breaths . He kissed the inner softness of her thighs as the pain in his groin increased , but he fought it back , determined in the importance of what eh was about . He shifted , drawing her knees up , then placed his hand beneath her hips , drawing them up to him . The warmth of his mouth touched her and she squirmed against him as she cried out a moan .

And then he cannot control his pain anymore... he want to take her ....
He could not resist her sweetness anymore... and as she cried for his name he knew it was all going to be sweet....

And as he plunged into her... She can barely let out a sigh while her hands grab the back of his shoulders
The thrusting made her world shut down for a moment and woke up again with sensation she never felt before . She doesn't want this to end ... He's whispering her name as he goes deeper and she moaned and beg when she knew it will be soon as they clung together for dear life ....
And shatter in ecstasy together .....

Her sounds are half sobs and half pleasure.... her tears run down her face while staring into the deep
night in his eyes ... when he said " I love you ... my Maria ... "
she knew that she would be his forever ...

Farewell to a Love That Will Never Be ...

my favorite poem of all times!!!

Farewell to a Love That Will Never Be

Close your eyes and feel the gentleness of my touch.
The warmth I failed to give while we we’re one, it is all there.
Let me wrap my arms around you,
Let me kiss you.
Hold back the tears in your eyes ‘til I turn around.

Smile, show me your smile,
Just like yesterday…
When we used to touch…
We used to make love…

Now everything has changed, we never do this things again
Let me look at you.
Yes, you we’re different.
A world apart…
You acted strange, like an actor on a stage.
But the play has to end, the curtains well be down…
Let us bade each others goodbye.
Farewell to a love that will never be…

Mr. Devastated

August 27 , 2008
10: 58 pm.



It's August again... it has been a while since I've posted something on this crazy age.
Well here I am again " Dear blog " always running on you whenever I get hurt ....


And here it goes ....

PART I

I've spent the day analyzing ...
analyzing how to let go of something I never had or to make it more clear ,
" someone that I never had " not mine - heh' clear enough for me .

Yet the fact and the reality that " every beginning has an end "
but why did it have to end when it has not even started yet ?

I am to console myself that at least I get to spend a moment with you ... dramatically speaking it was " A night to remember " .

I remember your eyes...
It was like longing for something I can give but longing for someone I could never be.


'Tis not a game , I am not your toy and vice-versa .
Clearly everything is for pleasure ....
Though I knew the possibilities it might lead us to but I knew better that it has to end somehow.
" Nothing lasts forver " for we are not diamonds polished by De Beers .

( Back to mellow DRAMA )

And so I treasured each moment spent with you .... not to miss a thing .
I want to see how you close your eyes innocently ..
how you snored like . ( sounds cute to me ) .
And how your part opened lips looked so tempting that I want to plunge my tongue inside and taste you once again .

I love to hear your breathing , the rise and low of your chest.. most of all your moans when you....
oooopppsss !!! censored ! :P .

Then suddenly you said " ... it has to end " and " we can continue seeing each other but we need to be discreet though ... " .
It felt like I was a switch you turned me ON , you turned me OFF and " ON " again
as you pleased .

For Pete's sake ! I was a willing victim an accessory of the crime .
Just don't pull the plug off and totally cut off electricity for the life of me !!!

" I am so devastated ... " these are not my words . I should have not cared how and why but generally it stung my heart . And when you said that you ant her back very badly , it was like rubbing salt to my wound .


I can't look at you . I am afraid to see the pain in your eyes for it hurts me most .

Though I don't want to cry , not a tear for you ! I will die if I cry for you ! ( joke!!! )


Seriously i want you to be happy , no matter who makes or brings you happiness . I want to see your
eyes dance again .
Go win her back ! apologize and tell her you regret the moment you spent with me .
Damn it if I get hurt with that !

Am I hurt through all of these ?
It doesn't matter anyway . Will it matter to you ?
What matters most ..... ( by Kenny Rankin right ? ) .

YES .
I am hurting . Damn it .
And damn it again ,I miss you .

Blue Christmas

8:43 A.M.
Wednesday
December 26, 2007



Standing there... amidst busy street... busy people rushing around for last Christmas shopping....
Yes it is Christmas once again.

And once again here goes my blue Christmas...
It started some four years ago...
But still and still you're here inside my memory.
The pain is still fresh, the hurt still aches...

I know I would never forget this feeling I felt for you,
Not in this lifetime...
"'til my last breath."

Still my one wish is to be with you on Christmas day...
But it would never happen... I know....I just know...

And now I'm sitting here listening to Michael Franks's "Mr.Blue"
So much for my blue Christmas.


Yesterday... I just slept the whole day away, not wanting to remember anything.
Too tired or too sleepy because of the eve's red wine...
But still the reason for sleeping this much was to hopefully dream of you on my sleep.



I kept my phone near to my ear, wishing some call would wake me up...
None....

I woke up at past five in the afternoon... reading 26 messages,
Yeah.. Christmas Greetings... but none of them soothe my longings... none.


It's so hurting to expect a call from someone,
And it's more hurting when the call didn't came...
None....

Went down to have a cup of coffee, greet the kids , play with them for a while.
Ate my mom's spag--- bread....
Sleep some more.

Woke up at 4 A.M.
Work again.

Arrived at 6:31 A.M.
Yehey!!!! I'm not Late!!!!

work-work-work-
But still hoping for that call....
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting still...
Still...


None.




~Pathetique

you belong there...

you belong there... to them.. to her...

"now where do i belong?" the line goes and goes....
i don't wanna sound so desperate but i am...lol'

you maybe home by now... no message from you.. not a "hi" not a "hello"
not even "goodbye"....

i miss those days... but seems that days have missed me too..now i don't exist anymore..not even a memory...

i still play the songs.. the songs in my heart, though they sound so sad and longing.
still it aches... to think of you..to long for you.

i wish for a second..to wish you we're mine...even for a second.




when the love is gone by ~pathetiquemermaid on deviantART

darn...

i'm sitting here... wonderin' where life would lead me...
for all and evrything.... i just felt so incomplete...
i felt that i'm still lost...

i don't know what else is there for me....
though... i have reasons to stay with my sanity... lot's of them...
but still... i'm incomplete.... and i don't belong ..to anyone... not even to my self....