... sui caedere ...

sui caedere

Is it a sweet submission or a bitter judgment of oneself ?
Why would anyone do such pathetic act ?
I have known people with suicidal acts ... including myself .

If you commit suicide to end all the misery and sorrow that you have right now will it really end ?
Of course we will not know what happens next not until the did is done and the crime is committed .

When I think about how the sharp blade digs into your precious skin , the skin that you have put on moisturizers and scrubbed with salt spa's and etc' just to keep it glowing in a healthy way . Think about how the sharp edge slices through your skin ... to gush over your beloved veins and slice you blood platelets into oblivion .... think of how it would hurt ....
Or what about imagine taking pills ... a bottle of sleeping pills prescribed to relax you and fight insomniac and stress . Of how you slowly digest each “ sweet dream “ and how it pulls you deeper into the dark abbeys of nowhere ....
you sank into the sand of numbness ...
swim into the pond of eternity ...


Will your ghost hunt you for doing such cruelty to yourself ?
Or she would feel shame for have become of you and why has your logic reached such insanity ....
Or mock and laugh at you for being so weak ...

When I did it ...
I was thinking that I am just walking in a cliff ... that if I jump my wings will grow and I will be free to fly high and away ....away from everything ....

People will talk , feel pity , grieve for your death ...
But after that you will be forgotten ... only the worms and maggots and roaches will enjoy your decomposing body situated 6 feet below the ground .

And life will continue ... with or without you ...